The shadow line, the fog that I see before me .. for the first time in my life that I am able to leave and not being able to imagine what I find
Well, this fog .. but where should I move? I find myself here, to go through something that I do not know, not knowing what's ahead ... but I only know what's behind .. but how do you get rid of what's behind it? It 'a lot, is a burden .. But it is also something fundamental and important that made me grow up and get here. Not forget, you can not .. but maybe I have to choose rummaging in the bag .. I can keep and bear with me and what is best to leave, what do I get rid at all costs .. that now prevents me just make my feet .. But what? Who is this form that I view the clouds? And then, what is a mask? ..... "This attitude which we assume to interpret the truth and protecting "? ...............
offer me a position of responsibility: to bring this ship to a route that no one knows. E 'my age in the air, in this state of precarious stability
We just needed to realize a responsibility .. responsibility. guide my steps. bring my boat to a route that no one knows. But even I though! And what is stability? protective layers that appiccicchiamo him to feel safe? But safe from what?! sure you live in prepackaged boxes? House - work - family - society?! Safe in the habit of living? In the usual passive? That 's what I try? This is what I want ?.................
dirty clothes in my luggage shipping, for every tear a port for every port in the head a song .. is sweet to be at sea when they are to make the other direction .. do not concern only what you need to do and cradled by the wave at night dreaming about my mother ... the sea.
And my luggage? Where did I leave? What he taught me? Basically if I am is because of it ... it was with the choices I made in the past .. In my past .. And what he taught me? Now that I am I and I alone decide the decision, what he taught me? What about me? Evolution. Growth. Salto. Flight. But there is still something that stops me ..... That form, that heavy bag ... I'm hurt. Why do not you know where is going. There is too much to dig. There is too much to do. I sleep. If I sleep better. I'm sick .... It lulled me ......... From the sea .....
Perhaps there is an incoming storm, boh .. I can not sleep ..!
I have a responsible position. I was told that a ship which has the need for a commander, told me that the pay is attractive and that the load is secret and important. The thought of responsibility has become big .. is like having to jump over a ditch that separates me from the carefree days of a past that is past, leap to the adult being indefinitely .... the fog in front of me I hide the answer to my fear: what will I be? where I take my nature? The face of my father taking shape on the mirror, he young, old me, his words echoing in my ear that "life is not easy! It takes sacrifice ... one day you will see it and tell me if I'm right! "
It 's too nice but I think that is something just for me. It is there. And just waiting for me. The secret, their importance. Fascinate me. The novelty, the jump ... I itchy hand, I feel the need to act. Do something. Put in motion throughout the universe for my dreams .. Now I can not wait. And I have to get rid of that block to make my choice.
watch a movie that undermines the preciousness of life for those who live? For ourselves or for others? Mina also my emotional stability that does not exist at this time .......
the day comes when you have to make a decision and now it's this day of monsoon, the wind that has no direction ... looking at the sky with a sense of oppression .. but it's my age, where you know how it was and no one knows where you go, what will be, what liability you have against the humans who live near you. And through this glass see the world as a chessboard where every move I make can change the whole match ... and I'm afraid of being eaten and I'm afraid to eat well ... I get lost in the readings, the books of Zen and the gospel .. astrology tells me the sky .. Floating in search of myself with which to dialogue but this shadow line is I did not meet.
And here I was waiting for the click .. Help! A tidal wave shattered on my shores and sweeps away all that is ... Places special emphasis on safety, habits ..... But what are the real responsibility my neighbors? With such talent I can relate to them? What I have yet to put in light? And the dark corners?
And I, in the midst of all this chaos, perhaps begin to understand. I went in me and now I can not go back. I started and now I have to give shape to this chaos, I have to create .. I have to create me. I have to go beyond this shadow line, I have to break through the fog in front of me .. I have to enter the light, in depth. It must get straight to the heart, before moving to the throat, head, feet ... Researchers around me, I read, enriches my strong background of experiences .. To cross the threshold. To overcome the shadow line. And meet me. Now there are. There.
offer me a position of responsibility .. I do not know what is the courage to take and if you drop everything, if you choose to escape or to address this proved difficult to interpret but beautiful to explore ... try to imagine what I'll be when I crossed the sea ... brought this important load at the destination where I'll be away from the next monsoon ...
Many doubts still there ... If you then jump where I'll end up? Tomorrow, what will? But I'm fascinated by all this .. What do I do? I let it go again? No. Not anymore.
Now time. And I surrender. In this marvel. To myself. To my inner strength. The embrace of the universe. I remove that block off, throw the mask on the floor ... I'm ready.
I have a responsible position ... Tomorrow I'll go down to the harbor and I will say that I'm ready to go, throw your bags into the sea, I will study the papers ... and wait to know where to start when side ... and when the monsoon will say: throw off the bowlines. straight. full speed ahead. This is the route. This is the direction. This is the decision.
I found my mask. What prevents me from walking and go beyond that. And the jet. Now I'm waiting for the monsoon ... And when will say: throw off the bowlines. straight. full speed ahead. This is the route. This is the direction. This is the decision.
Text: "The shadow line," Lorenzo Cherubini
Road: mine.
Photo: January 2008 Jesolo
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